Thursday, July 05, 2007
Went with Yinwei and Rico to watch transformers just now.Its a great show.. graphics are fabulous! just that I think the plot is a bit complicating for me haha. or just blame it on me; it's not the show's fault. I'll always get lost in the plot in the middle of the show.
Realised I'm quite in a different world from them ehs. Even though YW is now working elsewhere (and not full time at Rocky), she still hangs out alot with the Rocky guys.. Haha probably thats why they could still click.. well, for me nopes, I chose not to. Probably thats why I feel the distance.
Blur me has been working so hard these few days that I actually went to the wrong place for the movie, even though Rico has msged me abt the final venue already. Argh, Her World Golf Carnival this weekend. And Ive still been settling Shape Run stuff. Incomplete and messy =X
3 weekends in a row with event liao.
Today's also Maxim top 100 party at St James Power Station, tmr is Men's Health event. Last week was First magazine's outdoor screening at Botanical Gardens. every weekend there seems to be a magazine event. LOL.
Some colleague from L3 was complaining that like that all the B&P girls dun need to find boyfriend liao ar.. all stay single.. LOL! And B&P depts for all magazines are all girls! (except a gay la) LOL
Realised Ive been working and working, while some of my friends are already giving themselves a holiday before the school term begins. Cos of that, really feel the distance between myself and groups of them.
Sometimes I really wonder, is this the life I wanna lead? Or probably the definition of friends change?
Like somehow, my need for friends now has changed a lot ba.
I still stick to my previous statement that as we grow up, our perspective of friends narrow. The main reason is cos when we were young, in kindergarten, almost every one was your friend! Anyone who shares her colour pencils with you, anyone who shared her sweets with you! As we grow older, we tend to pick and choose our friends more, cos we start to realise what we see in our individual friends, which cater to our individual needs. Sounds selfish huh, but thats the way aint it? Then as we mature, we start to divide the fairweather friends from those whom we wanna keep for a lifetime. Because, you start to realise that you need people in your life who will stand alongside you, supporting you when you need them or not, in your life. And you start to realise that you jolly well can live happily without certain friends in your life! So as you grow older, you choose your friends more stringently!
Makes sense?
On a sideline, I realised Ive been too tired or too cant-be-bothered with stuff at home. I'll just blame it on fatigue, and get easily irritated with my mum or sis. Or probably it's just PMS la.
Come to think abt it, I havent PMSed for abt 2 months liao leh! wahaha...
Talking abt yesterday's NUS advanced placement test, whoa it sucks! Me and Geraldine flipped the paper open, and we were like WHOA! expected some essay question, turned out to be given some equation, as though we registered for a maths exam instead. And we just tried a bit, gave some crap working that didnt make sense at all (at least that's what I did! lol) .. And I just stoned the rest of the Managerial Econs paper away. Macro and International Econs was slightly better. At least had stuff to crap. Similarly, Equations! 80 marks per qn, no joke! But come to think abt it, we were qt stupid la. Went for uni exam, studied A lvl stuff. Stupid rite.. aiya wasted my time, should have gone for sports camp instead..
Im going for holiday soon.. Ya with my family. Havent spent much time with them.. Usually irritated with my mum these days, even though I dun spend a lot of time with my family. sometimes I just loathe the way she would scrutinise me from head to toe whenever Im all dressed and ready to leave the house. Worse, she will start to tug at my clothes, giving some weird comment (mostly negative, eg hey that pants looks like what the auntie wears to the market..like thanks ar, or even hey why so low cut.. and she will start to tug at where-it-matters) Super irritated and cant help not feeling so!
Sometimes, I just need someone to talk to again. Someone who understands. Probably this year hasnt been particularly well-going for me. Ive sacrificed a lot of things like friendships which matter. And to get over the remorse, guilt, sadness or emptiness, Ive been busily burrying myself in work, or mugging , or camps etc. =X
Probably it's time I review my life with more direction..
And learn to depend on myself a whole lot more..
Because in my life, pple come n go, the only person who wun , is myself..
haha. Make sense? yes it does rite... gotta think abt it wor..
kk ciaox. blogging really relieves me a lot more now.. =) embedded in between at 1:03 AM
