Sunday, September 24, 2006
After all that thoughts, I think and came up with the conclusion that my complaining and whining serves no purpose, the thing is ACTION. Suddenly I have relived my childhood ambition of becoming a nurse. Nurses are noble you know, and how I pained over that decision to drop chemistry; my options are closed :(
Singapore is a good place to live in. Ont he surface, we see how glamorous Singapore is; the international fame of IMF, the impending casinos, the Singapore Biennial, the NDP narrating how successful Singapore is, Singapore's more-than-5%-economic growth which pushes us nearer to being a developed country, and all the little things that are worth Singapore's pride that we all see so often in the newspapers and the mass media.
Yet, behind all that glamour we see, we sometimes see that occasional old lady roaming the allies searching for cardboard boxes. Occasionally, we see that frail old man picking at the leftovers in the hawker centres.
It always pains me to see old people in such sorry states. I always ask myself, " At that age, arent we talking about enjoying life after retirement in family bliss?" If we are, why are they still subjected to such sorry states. In old folk' homes, rehabiliation centres, hospitals, frailing old people seem ubiquitous. And it pains me to see them.
On those faces which remind us of our very own past, we see sadness, we see loneliness, and we see a sense of forlorness. Wheres all that happiness that they are entitled to?
And when they speak, or are seeking to find a companion to speak to, the youths of today look at them with disdain, faces plastered with expressions of disgust. They walk away from them, preferring to be engrossed with their tiny handphones or even pretending to immerse themselves in the music from their little mp3s.
Such is the fate of our old. Left behind and forgotten as society progressed.
My aunt just reminded of me of that grim fact. In ten years time, we would all be part of that ageing community. She was referring to my parents, and other aunts and uncles.
Till now, it bugs me to know that our own grandfathers and the very people who built this country up alongside Mr Lee Kuan Yew are suffering from such a fate. After all that slogging, perhaps the supposed end result of a country enjoying high GDP figures comes with numerous by-products such as singlehood, illnesses, loneliness and homelessness.
I cannot say that society should stop progressing because of these sacrifices. It is still a known fact that society has to progress inevitably.
Just a few hours ago, I visited my granduncle from hospital. He looked rather healthy, but my aunt told us that he was suffering from dementia and could not recognise my grandmother. As much as his bed reeked of urine smell, Im glad my family never despised him. My dad tried his best to talk to him , made him feel appreciated and he assessed his health condition. We looked arround the entire ward, and the whole scene was just heartwrenching. Next to his bed, this old man had dried-up wrinkled skin and literally black feet, as though they were semi-decomposed. Opposite my granduncle's bed, there was this old chinese man who looked out at the corridor forlornly, as though longing for something, something called care and concern.
As we listened to my granduncle, we sensed that slight bit of feeling-fed-up-with-life. And their conveersations were always peppered with words which signified that they would somehow feel happier just ending their dramatic lives soon. SOemhow, those feeligngs sounded so common, almost every elderly I listened and talked to and was ailing always expressed those thoughts.
And as I walked out of the ward, I just felt like shedding a tear.
I could sense that my granduncle was thankful and appreciative of our visit. After all, he had no wife, no children, and lived alone , with the rest of his siblings happily married with children and grandchildren to care for them. And I remembered whenever he called my grandfather to ask stuff, my grandma's tone always hinted of despise and dislike. I always ask her to empathise with him, he was just a lonely old man, in need of care and love like everyone else. Just as I was feeling sad for his plight, my dad told us that my granduncle was really thankful for our visit and that he shed a tear as we left.
Theres this chinese saying which goes "男儿有泪不轻弹, 只是未到伤心处". Maybe those tears meant he was too sad at his plight and pitying himself, or maybe, sheer happiness that he was appreciated and unforgotten by his nephew . Probably, we let him feel that sense of comfort and family love, that his siblings were having, but he lacked.
For that instant, nurses just seem heroic. They had the ability to care for these elderly much more, and their love for them would be much more greatly appreciated, through those smiles on the elderly's wrinkled faces.
Ultimately, I know if I want to love these old ones, I need to start from my own folks. And I always have that sense of guilt whenever my own grandparents just simply commented that we were too busy studying to visit them. yet I know deep inside, they yearned for our visits. Even that simple phonecall. And I can say that confidently of my paternal grandmother. Its that sense guilt of letting them down, by not giving them the love that they deserve. For that reason, I just hate myself for being busy. And I know that those are just too-common-an-excuse for too many youngsters today.
树欲静而风不止, 子欲养而亲不在 . Maybe its time we youngsters cared for the people who helped built up our homeland and the ones who remind us of who we really are.
God Bless.
-yann. embedded in between at 12:37 AM
