Saturday, July 29, 2006
Somehow, it just all seems like a show. A show, that I am totally blessed to be a pure audience. I once thought of becoming one of the leads, but 'watching the show' and not participating in it, gave me lotsa time to count my blessings.Many of my friends , or mainly the people around me are having lotsa relationship sagas. More often than not, they are going through rough patches. Some in the relationship already, some still reminiscing and sobbing over it, some struggling to forget the scars, some struggling for space, to study, cos the prelims are just soso near. For that, I just feel totally blessed, blessings in disguise. Im not in any; spared from the pain I see in so many of my female counterparts.
Particularly worried about two of my friends, their grades are really bad, and they have been adversely affecting each other with their ongoing relationship. Guy: " I really want to study now!" Girl: " I really cant stand him."
So ,are they really going through so much pain..
The simple answer would be to just give each other a break first right?
Is that Such a heartless statement? I really dont believe they cant live without each other..
I cant say so either, girls have irrational and uncontrollable emotions; Its so easy to say that you will stop being sad, and stop hating, but doing it, is it really that easy?
Another fren.
He left her. Yet now, she turns back to say she still loves him, and dun regret loving.
I guess girls are just like that, they cant forget emotional scars. But is it a guy's thing to hurt? So insensitively? I feel like just telling her to forget it, just forget him. But before I say that, Ive been asking myself if I can do it first. If I cant do it, theres no point telling her too. Girls are just so vulnerable. I symathise with my female species.
Yet one more friend. He chose to leave her out of the blue.
He thought that was the only way, at least thats what he thought. But she din think so. So he just left her. Without much clear explanations.
Shes left crying over it. Tillnow, she seems like she has recovered from the emotional scars, but when we talked abt relationships again, somehow, I saw that little hint of tears. That hint of sadnesss, underlying that usual jovial, hardworking girl. I hate to see the sight.
I ask myself, " Why does she have to get hurt?" Can I stop them from getting hurt? Can I even stop myself from getting hurt?
Did girls just choose to get hurt?
No they dont. I am answering that from a girl's view. They dont. They see so much hope in a relationship. They hang on to it so much. They dint foresee the hurting process.
Dunno why. I seem like Im examining so many case studies.
Like some doctor. Haha. At least the role of relationship consultant is not mine to be now. Cos studies' my thing now!
Relationships seem to make people more selfish.
Pple say " He isnt there for me when I need him!"
Pple say " She is just flirting arnd, and dont care abt my feelings!"
Pple say "She wont go out with me, cos she doesnt love or care enough abt me!"
Think abt it la. Arent they just selfish comments.
The main object in all these statements , isnt the thing abt "I"
Everything is "I"
So , have u been there when the other person needed u? So have u spared a thought for the other person, just as u would want him or her to spare a thought for u?
So, are these emotional turmoils making pple grow up and learn? Or they are just repeating their mistakes one relationship after another?
Haha. For me, relationships do make pple grow up, they make pple learn abt interpersonal relationships-communication, trust, encouragement etc.
Haha. Just like how oac makes me work tgt as a team.
In life, theres so much to be learnt. No doubt.
Last yr I learnt so much abt teamwork. THis yr , I need to learn more abt phy, econs maths and GP already! HAHA.
Learning abt pple, next yr perhaps. Or after As.
Theres a time for everything.
Nows just not the time lor.
TOld Sian I was so blessed that I din entangle myself in so many commitments. Till now, Im still so proud of that. She begs to differ. Aha. Im waiting to see whether she'll get into any relationship nxt yr.
Two of my friends are starting a relationship. Me and YL , feel like telling them, we dont think nows the time to do so. But ultimately, its their choices right?
Many a time, as friends, Im worried for them, I Want to help. But can I help? Its a path chosen by them, and they have the responsibility to undertake any consequences.
I told yinwei to be the middleman of this couple . Let them see the light. But she says, they chose to off the light. So now , theres nth we can do. If they dun want to help themselves.Hai.
Gua said that everytime she sees me, Ill be so worn down and so weathered, as thoughI have just undergone some emotional turmoil. Yea, weathered, i agree, cos Im just plain tired and headachy everyday. Emotional turmoil? More of mental turmoil?
How many times of CK consultation this week? Thank god only once.. LOL!
Chaokiat says Ive got the potential to cross the boundary, cos I think very deeply too. He says he sees scars of life on my smile. And my les looked at me, and said "where got?" =.=
Sometimes I just wish I had her innocence and simplicity in thought, not stressing yourself out unnecessarily. LOL!
-smiles-
I woke up today, thinking abt a special someone. And counting myself so lucky, so blessed. And there was a smile deep inside me.
My current 'regret' is that I havent given enough, from what I have received.
But that wont be a lifelong regret. =p embedded in between at 6:21 PM
