Saturday, June 17, 2006
Hey friend, Im not standless! That I know..
Things seem trivial, yet not trivial. They seem majestic, yet not too majestic. Apparently it seems theres a fine line between it. Things can go either way, very good or very bad. You all- I figure probably the only thing we can do now is prevent you all from falling too hard. After all, things might not go the way that we have perceived it to be. Next term is all yours, my dearest. You all shall make the things u want to happen happen. You all dont have to bother about the decisions we have made for you all. Just stand by the words we preach, the most important one about going through it together as one.
For that, Im able to say we made a legacy, we din follow the decisions our predecessors set for us, for the future is unpredictable by them.They only modelled it according to themselves. And we predicted it for ourselves. A total different reality from theirs. Different dynamics altogether, yet keeping the values.
I guess, after youve been through it all do you get a clearer picture. I used to dislike , hate things and people for my perceived wrong decisions. But yet the more I do, the more I wanted to prove. That worked positively, yet it could work negatively. For me, I made sure it worked the former. Yet for you all, we are taking a gamble, like what our predecessors did for us. No one is wrong.
As things go, I start to understand their stands. For Im in the current position now. Things just seem crystal clear.
Im not standless. Im just afraid to hurt. I dont want to spoil friendships. I hate to do that. Im mild. I want to be everybodys good friend. But can I? Yet Im perceived as standless. I know Im tactless to some extent.
Actually it doesnt matter to me what others think. For I know what I want and what is good. Thats the most important.
But it hurts to know that Im perceived as shifty. Probably when Im in your position, I would feel the same exact way too. Probably. But harsh reality does hurt though. Haha. But Im not that petty. I admit Im sensitive, I dont deny it. Yet I loathe sensitivity in others. What an irony.
Sensitivity in the bad way; over trivial stuff. Ironical.
And hey blog, you know what, I realised I havent been as good a daughter as a friend or any other role.
I just realised my dad was an arts graduate. I just realised lots of things about my father which I perceived I knew. Think thats quite sad. For me, for him.
But can things not be like that, since we have both chose to escape? Or excuse ourselves?
Communication.
Preach. Do. Preach . Do. No talk.
Failure? Or on the route to it, or turning point? Ive decided.
Lastly, Ive always suspected the character of blogs.
Is this a good platform for them? For us? For all of us?
Once again, it works both ways. Can technology stop making things complicating ? Haha. I know the answer.Inevitable.The world's ever-changing. One of the new unpredictable challenges that we, youths of the 21st century has to face.
LOL. Rhetorical yea? I ask myself the questions of which I know the answers to.
Then again, I cant stop asking myself.
Also, Im wondering, have I always been myself in my blog? Or have I been putting on a facade?
For some posts, I admit I have been doing the latter. As much as I do so, there is the excuse of certain images I have to put up to potential readers of my blog. Other than that, I have been and would like to be totally myself. This is my blog. My readers can judge me any way they want. Thats not my problem nor within my control. Though Id actually prefer my readers , who are usually pple I know , to know me through the conventional way of meeting and interacting . Lols. Sounds funny. Im trying to correct the flaws of the cyber world, even though I know such 'flaws' will have to exist no matter what, in this ever-changing world? Sounds ironic. Hah. but Ill prefer to do so.
Hee.
Take care then my friend.
Yours sincerely,
yann.~ embedded in between at 11:13 PM
