Saturday, April 15, 2006
Thinking, thinking and more thinking will make one go mad. I hate it when the thoughts cramp my head, all fighting for supremacy. Sometimes, something seems so important, yet it clashes with the ideas of another thing. You think; you wonder; your head starts to ache; you just choose to escape cos it seems like the only thing you can and know how to do ; your head has ceased to think cos it hurts so much. But escape is not the solution, you know it, down to the wilderness of your mind. All that facade, is that the real you?
Somehow it seems really so easy to find someone or something to blame for the many errors and faults in life. But yet, it is always so difficult to find the actual cause of it. People just take the easy way out by just putting the blame on the things which are seem quite obvious, yet they know that deep inside, that shld not even carry the blame. Bah~ the thoughts are so random.
Ive had enough of things I guess. Only about 15 months, yet it seems like my brain has gone through so much. It does hurt, it really does. THe happiness was initial, it felt like bliss, but yet it seems only initial. Other than that, nothing. Actually there is, but when the sadness and depression overwhelms, it seems to cloud your entire vision on things around you. That feling is horrible. I totally loathe it, is it part of growing up? If it is, then why is growing up so painful? Or is it cos its growing up in the 21st century? The aches of a growing child in the 21st century?
Maybe that should be the name of my blog.
I hate putting on facades. Or is that the real me? Or am I just totally immune?
-My heads aching real bad. Can the questions stop bombarding?-
Tomorrows a new day. Yet a day would have passed again. I Dont want to face reality but I know I AM IN reality. It sucks. Its 20 weeks more. About 12 weeks more, If nothing changes , I really am going to do something drastic. I think Im entertaining thoughts on drastic measures. I hope I dont ever live to regret things.
This is complicating. Too random the thoughts. Im a complex person. embedded in between at 12:52 PM
