Friday, February 03, 2006
Heartbroken. Sometimes u just feel like crying. As if the whole world doesnt understand you.They think they do, but they actually do not. They accuse you of heinous crimes when you know you are innocent. They breathe down your neck all at once. They think you are some slacker who wastes time and money by giving others extra trouble by going to school.
Sometimes you have no idea of the way out of this never-ending abyss, no matter how hard you have tried. You still fail to conform to their standard ways of behaviour and performance, despite the hard work you put in. You feel like giving up, just throwing everything away, cos you are putting yourself through such hardship, when you are not happy at all, and everyone else is not happy with you as well.
You find it so hard to please them, yet at the same time please and satisfy yourself. You feel like the whole world just simply dont understand or give a damn about what you do; they just want to see the final product done.
People say its the ardour and pain which allows you to grow more; but I say, it's too painful a process; you sometimes wish you could opt out of all these.
You want to cry, yet the tears sometimes dont come. Even if they come, you know you have much more inside waiting to pour out, and to have an outlet to. You want to find that outlet, you want to find it desperately, yet to no avail. You think and try, yet no miracle happens. Even the standardway out doesnt work out this time and the last time, and most probably the next time. You are left to your wares; you actually wonder why you are in all these. You wonder what to do. You want to think, but you know you must slog on. Immediately. And the whole vicious cycle repeats itself. You have no idea of when it will ever ever end. embedded in between at 10:55 PM
