Saturday, October 08, 2005
got this feeling that everything is going to fall apart real soon. its getting imminent. i never never thought that jc could have such an effect on me. I feel like im so not in control anymore. It really seems beyond me. how how did it ever get to this? was it a wrong choice? or was it just how things are as we progress in time? how ? why? I really dunno whether i am able to take it. scared i might just break at this crucial point of time. Im really scared. I know the day will come soon. I dun want to be part of it. and to do so, i must slog hard now to get out of it. I know I must . I must. I musnt let 4 months of effort come to naught.Its over. I know its over. Im not pessimistic or something. but i got the feeling its over. Actually i thought it shld be something ill be glad of. im free form all those irriating emotions. I know i shld be glad. Its just more time i need. to really relieve myself from that abyss. I need more time. I really need so. Haix. Life is...... embedded in between at 11:34 AM
